Ever since I came back from Vegas I have been in a slump. Depressed beyond belief. Un-motivated, lazy, hiding in the house again. I hate it when I get like this. Last night I was listening to a song that reminds me of my dad and I just burst into tears over how much I am missing him. then it all fit - I've been so down like this since the day of the wedding in Vegas. I cried so hard that day that my Dad hadn't made it long enough to be able to go to Bruce's wedding. I was so upset after the wedding that I left as soon as the dinner was over. I have not been the same since. I think with that happening and then missing him so much over the holidays I am just not functioning at my full level.
It scares me when I get like this because I become someone I don't like very much. I have so many plans, so much I want to do and to be, and when I get like this it feels as if none of that is possible. I will be forcing myself to start some new changes this week. Don't feel like doing any of them, but I am going to do them anyway. I have to break out of feeling this way. this has to change.